Sherlock Fanfiction: You Follow Me Down Other Roads

[saki101]

Title: You Follow Me Down Other Roads
Author: Saki101
Genre: open to interpretation
Rating: PG
Length: ~500 words
Warning: Spoilers for second season.
Disclaimer: I don't own BBC's Sherlock and no money is being made.
Author's note: Episode-related, The Hounds of Baskerville.
(Link also posted on sherlockbbc and AO3.) You Follow Me Down Other Roads follows Zygomata.

Excerpt: “You can’t keep up with my mind,” Sherlock said. He glanced over his steepled fingers towards the armchair next to which John stood. “You are getting faster though.”




You Follow Me Down Other Roads

“You can’t keep up with my mind,” Sherlock said. He glanced over his steepled fingers towards the armchair next to which John stood. “You are getting faster though.”

John tilted his head, raised an eyebrow at that. The kettle switched off. He turned his back on Sherlock and walked into the kitchen. Knowing Sherlock had chosen to experiment upon him had left a deeper mark than the terror itself. Knowing John fought other terrors almost every night hadn’t stopped Sherlock. In the dark place where those realisations crouched, Sally’s scathing words echoed, He doesn’t have friends...stay away from Sherlock Holmes.

John took two mugs from the cupboard, checked inside them before setting them on the counter.

In the village churchyard, Sherlock had called after him. John listened even when Sherlock mumbled, drawn to his voice, rich in undertones, revelations. John always listened, even when he was trying not to.

I don’t have friends. I've just got one, Sherlock had admitted and the tone of his voice had hooked into John more than the words. It had made him hesitate.

John got out the milk, his eyes flicking towards the sitting room. Sherlock had fallen silent, gaze directed across the room, fingers pressed lightly against his lips.

John aimed the arcs of scalding water into the cups. He settled the kettle back on its base.

Sherlock spoke softly into his hands, “And you follow me down other roads...”

John put a steaming mug on the coffee table in front of Sherlock.

Sherlock’s voice dropped lower. “...that I don’t know so well.” Sherlock’s brows drew together. On the street outside, a motorcyclist gunned his engine, resentful of a stop light's authority.

Without flinching, John straightened up, moved back to the armchair and sat. He held his cup over his lap with both hands, let the steam warm his face, relax some of the tightness in the muscles there. The vapour swirled steadily upwards.

“And if I get lost,” Sherlock continued briskly, voice more conversational, eyebrows lifting, long arm reaching out for the tea.

John’s eyes stayed trained on Sherlock’s face.

Sherlock’s head turned. He looked at John over his raised cup, the corners of his lips quirking upwards. “You lead me back,” he concluded and took a sip of tea. It was precisely as he liked it. His smile broadened.

John held Sherlock’s eyes, remembering the dim laboratory, the stalking shadow, speaking to his tormentor from inside a metal cage. Even over a phone, the sound of Sherlock’s voice had reassured him, holding the terror at bay as Sherlock had known it would. Sherlock probably saw him remembering it now. Could it be you’ve chosen to trust Sherlock Holmes, of all people? John heard Mycroft's softly-spoken, ironic question again. The answer was short, but not easy to explain, even less so now. However, there was no one to whom John needed to explain, and it was hard not to be pleased that Sherlock had worked it out, about the leading and the following. John smiled back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The next ficlet in the series may be found here.

Comments

[cosmosmariner.livejournal.com]

Could it be that the roads that Sherlock doesn't know so well are the roads of emotions, the pathway to love? I don't care what other people say, I think Sherlock is demisexual, not necessarily asexual.

Anyway - I love things that make me think, make me wonder. This has done both. Wonderful, beautiful job. Thank you, Saki. :D

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. I think Sherlock's pushed sexuality to the side, maybe because no one's ever interested him sufficiently or because he experimented with it physically and felt he'd gained whatever knowledge he needed on the subject or he had an experience that hurt and he didn't find the gain worth the pain.

I've been reading a fair amount of Sherlock!fic the past few months and found a broad spectrum of speculation about the topic and the series seems to be taking the subject quite seriously, too, which is fascinating.

Thank you so much for reading. ♥ I didn't think I'd start writing Sherlock!fic, and it was a bit scary to post one. I do think those are the roads where John will help Sherlock not be lost or hurt. Thank you again. :D

[cosmosmariner.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know how scary it is to post in a fandom that you've never written in before, when you're not exactly sure if you have it right. I'm in the process of doing that now; writing a fic in a fandom that has wonderful writers in it already and then there's me, doing my noodling. :P

My own views re: Sherlock and sex is this: he is a very, very passionate person (we can see this in the first scene of the first series, whipping that man). He feels too much, and it's too much for him to handle. So he sets it aside.

Also, I do really think he's demisexual, hopefully you're familiar enough with the term. He NEEDS someone to stimulate him intellectually, he needs someone to bond with him in an emotional way before we can open up to even the possibility of sex with that person. I know that I'm pretty much like that, too; as much as I drool over fellows online, in real life I do not find people attractive until I actually get to know them, become friends with them, start to have intelligent discussions with them. I usually don't think "Oh wow, that guy is really foxy" unless I have picked their brain or they've made me laugh or feel something. (There are exceptions. DMC is one of them; I have always been struck by his beauty. But of course I have since learned how clever he is, and that adds to it.)

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I hadn't heard the term before I started reading Sherlock!fic and noted it in ratings or summaries. In recent decades so many aspects of psychology have been explored and defined in more detail. I will read more about it in the future and find the fics focussing on that element very interesting. They also ring true to me.

It's interesting how DMC seems to be an exception for a lot of people. For those who fell in love with him as Illya (which seems to be the majority), it could be the intelligence and wry humour of the character supplied that context for his beauty from the outset. Maybe that's a strong element of his wide and long-lasting appeal.

The way Sherlock and his interaction with John is being written and acted, I very much see him fitting the definition of demisexual.

Good luck with your new fandom story. It is intimidating to branch into a new area, but exciting, too. Which fandom is it?

[cosmosmariner.livejournal.com]

It is Jeeves/Wooster. I haven't posted anything yet, but I am about 3/4th finished with the story. It is exciting, but very nerve-wracking! Also I am writing a RPF for someone who is in the fandom snowflake challenge. That is less intimidating, oddly enough. LOL

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jeeves and Wooster is so fantastic. I love the books, I love the series with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie! I look forward to reading it when you post it.

[georgiamagnolia.livejournal.com]

(sorry, I have no Sherlock icons!)

If I say that I am primarily a fan of the Jeremy Brett Sherlock, will that reveal too much about my viewpoint or just enough? I have not seen the new series nor the movies, and yet I enjoyed this and imagined my own favourtie Sherlock despite not knowing the newest interpretation in the media and I think that is because you write everything you write so beautifully. Thank you for letting us in to see this amazing moment.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Re icons: I only have the one so far. I have been screencapping so I may go wild later though!

If I really like the way a character has been portrayed on film, I am very hesitant to see another dramatisation. I didn't have a favourite Sherlock before, so it was easier for me. But, although I had this current adaptation in mind when I wrote, I am flattered and very happy that the story worked with your favourite in mind.

Thank you! ♥

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

I may have made a happy squeaking noise when I realised you've written Sherlock *g*

I love the peace of the moment, and the detail of John checking inside the mugs - well you would, wouldn't you? :D

Lovely, thank you.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Oh, I am so tickled that you liked it. I discovered the first season of Sherlock this summer and have been recommending it to everyone who gets near me ever since. This meant I re-watched it with each and every one in anticipation of season two. And I liked the episodes better each time I watched them.

As always, I love when you mention details. One would certainly check everything before one ate or drank from or sat on it! Can you imagine a sleepy wander in the night for a drink of water?

Thank you so much for reading! :D

[spaciireth.livejournal.com]

I really love the tone of this! It's not long but it conveys so much at the same time.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I had a lively discussion with a friend as to whether Sherlock could be forgiven/excused for experimenting on John. This little fic was my ultimate reaction to the situation.

[togsos.livejournal.com]

yay you are writing sherlock :D This is a wonderfully quiet fic, which amongst the bustle of noise that sherlock normally creates was a breath of fresh air.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

The Hounds of Baskerville had a lot of character developments and some seemed hard to reconcile with each another. I guess I had to come up with an explanation before the next episode aired!

Thank you for not finding it too quiet! I was worried about that.

[quirkyspirit.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this! Well done. It has indeed been hard to reconcile the events in the Baskerville Lab with the friendship of Sherlock and John... you did a good job of putting it together in a way that allows John his self respect and allows Sherlock his humanity. For that, I am glad. PS: LOVE your icon.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

That scene kept nagging at me until I came up with some sort of explanation. I'm so pleased you feel it works, too! Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

I've just gotten started with screencapping. I can see a lot of icon playing in my future!

[utopiantrunks.livejournal.com]

Mmm, I can see why you wrote this. This episode had a real one-two punch, didn't it? With that beautiful confession--"I've just got one" Oh!--and then the betrayal...

This is good--I like the thought and the conflict over the issue. I'm glad that at the end John has chosen to trust him, although the reasons are complicated...

What does Sherlock mean about leading him back? In general, or in the context of this episode?

[saki101.livejournal.com]

What does Sherlock mean about leading him back? In general, or in the context of this episode?

I was picturing it as both. Generally, John helps Sherlock with the nuances of emotions and by doing that consistently (usually), has allowed Sherlock to become more comfortable with exploring those paths than he had been in the past. And Sherlock is acknowledging that if he gets lost when he's down one of those roads, he knows John will help him find his way back. Generally, that's what we've been seeing John do, but in this episode John only did it when Sherlock was being insensitive to others. He failed Sherlock twice when Sherlock was experiencing strong emotions, in the tavern and in the cemetery. In the graveyard, John was walking off again after Sherlock admitted how troubled he was by experiencing doubt of his own senses. As it happens Sherlock has an idea right after that which cheers him up and he is the one that saves that situation emotionally between them, I feel.

John didn't seem at his most equitable in this episode and is still angry until near the very end when Sherlock tells him it won't happen again. That seemed to me to show that Sherlock had heeded John's emotional lessons and was motivated by his concern for John to put them into practice. So then there was the question as to why John wasn't his usual self which led to the other fic! It was tough that they were both having emotional challenges at the same time.

Were you thinking that John might be leading Sherlock back to a detached attitude when he becomes emotional because John isn't ready/able to cope with an emotional Sherlock? Is having trouble with his own emotions in various ways and prefers a detached Sherlock?

[fatmolly11.livejournal.com]

So very good.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

I love your icon!

[fatmolly11.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[mahmfic.livejournal.com]

aw lovely!

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I'm so pleased you continued on! Thank you!

[chapbook.livejournal.com]

I like the quotation Sherlock chose (what is its source?), not just because the idea of going on "other roads" is so lovely, but also because it can apply to both men. Sherlock relies on John regarding emotions (and John often but not always helps him), whereas John trusts Sherlock (something John does with great difficulty, if we consider the "trust issues" referenced in ASiP). And maybe that trust is bound up in his unshakeable faith in Sherlock's genius. Sherlock falls down on occasion as well, in THoB when he experiments on John that I know would not amuse a Research Ethics Board. Both are fallible, yet despite themselves maintain that bond, which seems only to get stronger the more severely its tested.

I accepted the drugging, though it was hard to watch, because it is supported by canon, and because I can see SH rationalizing it to himself so easily.

I am now wondering whether Experiments! and Other Experiments!John will take Sherlock's resurrection as a betrayal. No matter the sincere motivation behind Sherlock's not including John directly in his plan, I suspect he will not be happy about his agency being removed.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

...I suspect he will not be happy about his agency being removed.

It was the quandary in THoB; my brain was trapped in the puzzle of it, and the situation in Hounds only lasted a very short while. I don't think duration matters though; it was, as you say, the taking away of agency, and without consent, that is at the heart of it.

...something John does with great difficulty, if we consider the "trust issues" referenced in ASiP

I think it is the lack of difficulty which poses the greatest challenge for John. Trusting Sherlock, following him seemed to just happen to him and when he stops to consider it, he finds it hard to explain to himself. It is something he feels, strongly. So I think with John we also have the battle between thought and emotion and between different emotions.

I accepted the drugging, though it was hard to watch...

So very hard to watch, and for me that was mostly because of what I feared it was going to do to their relationship which was already experiencing stresses. That was Sherlock's sacrifice for the Hounds experiment as it was he that was fearing John's withdrawal, rejection and still, to solve the mystery, he risked that. Maybe Sherlock had some small hope that John wouldn't figure it out, but I don't think he could have considered that very likely.

I like the quotation Sherlock chose (what is its source?)...

If you mean the title phrase, then, as far as I know, I made it up. The whole story began with the title. It kept echoing in my head once I thought of Sherlock saying it to John and seemed a good description for what they were doing together. However, the imagery for the phrase is from two places, one being Frost's poem, The Road Not Taken. In that poem, the narrator is alone whereas I pictured John behind Sherlock on the many less-travelled roads where Sherlock ventures, some of which John needs to lead Sherlock back from. The cadence of the phrase (and a lot of what I write) as well as more of the imagery has been influenced by Edward Fitzgerald's translation of The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, the fifth edition, especially. Relevant to the title phrase, these two verses (47 and 64):

When You and I behind the Veil are past,
Oh, but the long, long while the World shall last,
Which of our Coming and Departure heeds
As the Sea's self should heed a pebble-cast.

and

Strange, is it not? that of the myriads who
Before us pass'd the Door of Darkness through,
Not one returns to tell us of the Road,
Which to discover we must travel too.

YFMDOR was written first, although I went backwards and wrote Zygomata which precedes it in time and needs to be read first, I think. Still the whole question of what on earth was going on between them in Hounds and just generally, began to be solved in my mind when I came up with that way to phrase Sherlock's explanation (which is really an apology and a plea) to John.

[chapbook.livejournal.com]

The imagery in the poems you chose and in this part of the series remind me of Stephen Crane's "The Wayfarer":

The wayfarer,
Perceiving the pathway to truth,
Was struck with astonishment.
It was thickly grown with weeds.
"Ha," he said,
"I see that none has passed here
In a long time."
Later he saw that each weed
Was a singular knife.
"Well," he mumbled at last,
"Doubtless there are other roads."

Considering the pain they go through in the search for truth (whatever that truth may be at that moment), the image of truth's path consisting of "singular kni[ves]" resonates with me.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Yes. That's a harsh and vivid image (very vivid, I can picture the light glancing off the blades) and fits very well. I've never read that poem. Thank you!

[chapbook.livejournal.com]

I'm having fun with our conversations as well! You might have changed your mind by the end of this reply, once you've read the Crane poem below. ;-)

I hereby thank my wonderful high-school English teacher, who loved Stephen Crane (or so I guess, as we went through a number of his poems).

Yes, Crane is brutal. I still remember this one:

Many workmen
Built a huge ball of masonry
Upon a mountaintop.
Then they went to the valley below,
And turned to behold their work.
"It is grand," they said;
They loved the thing.

Of a sudden, it moved.
It came upon them swiftly;
It crushed them all to blood.
But some had opportunity to squeal.
----

If SC and Poe had lived at the same time they would have had the most terrifying conversations.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

But there is a dark humour in this, grim though it is. I may have forgotten something funny in Poe (I suppose there is a bit in "The Murders at Rue Morgue"), but mainly he seemed to take his darkness very seriously.

The SC and Poe conversations would have been brilliant and dire for sure. Imagine a collaboration!

[elmey.livejournal.com]

This has to be one of my favorites so far! I really like the way you ground the whole thing with the homely details of John making tea (John aimed the arcs of scalding water into the cups.--lovely); it's grounded but it also echoes Sherlock's actions in serving the drugged tea to John. You have such a wonderful way of using the detail of small physical actions to reveal thoughts.

John is such a solid presence here, letting Sherlock figure things out himself, trusting him to come to the correct conclusion.

(I'm still going to give you and wiseheart my meanderings on John and Sherlock as promised--I've been low on energy the past week or so and have fallen behind, but things are looking up!)

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I hope you haven't been unwell. I'm glad you're energy is returning.

I am looking forward to those meanderings whenever you have the time and inclination to present them!

It's such a treat to find that you're still proceeding! These are all such short pieces, as if I couldn't consider too large a chunk of the mysteries at one time. (I'm tickled that you liked that line. I was hoping to capture John's potential to be dangerous.)