Sherlock Fanfiction: Sometimes

[saki101]

Title: Sometimes
Author: Saki101
Genre: Pre-slash
Rating: PG
Length: ~500 words
Warning: AU
Disclaimer: I don't own BBC's Sherlock and no money is being made.
Author's notes: This could be read as a prologue to the Experiments Series, but it would function as an AU lens which would change the perception of those stories or Sometimes could be read as a stand alone AU.
(Also posted on 221b-baker-str, sherlockbbc and AO3.)

Excerpt: Sometimes Sherlock wanted to just let it go and glow like a dark star.




Sometimes

It was hard to keep up the pretence, to hold it all in. Sometimes Sherlock wanted to just let it go and glow like a dark star. That’s why it was safer for everyone if he stayed in more often than not, let his mind wander for him, saw mainly the people whom he had already bound to him, albeit loosely. They forgot sometimes, autopilot on normal. It made sense for them, of course, it was the normal world in which they lived most of the time, the times when they weren’t with Sherlock. But they fell in love with what he let them feel. Fell in love and then he had to take care of them. Sometimes he forgot how reckless it made them, what they would do for the love. Sometimes he used that recklessness. It made them strong, resourceful. How passionately they wanted to follow, not to lose sight of what he allowed them to glimpse.

Fragile, myopic, infuriating…endearing beings. And the best ones, ah...

The urge simmered. Standing, as Sherlock was, in the middle of the sitting room, the urge heated the air, pushed it against the walls. The crack in the ceiling lengthened, grew a little wider.

...were fragrant with their intuitions. The aroma of neurotransmitters meeting hormones and making unlikely connections. Electrical bonds arcing, loosening, beckoning…

The whole experiment was a mistake, Sherlock felt on many, many days. Mycroft seemed to deal with it better, but then Mycroft hardly seemed alive sometimes, whereas Sherlock was alive, vibrantly, electrically alive and vibrantly, wildly brilliant. It was dangerous for both sides to be so strong.

There were those who thought the experiment a subterfuge, clever camouflague masking a hitherto unsuspected weakness for that scent wafting into the ether like a snare. An image of sea anemones passed through Sherlock’s mind. He took a deep breath and the windows rattled.

Such a fluke that fusion could be viable. Of the infinite combinations of matter, sentient and otherwise, this combination seemed the most unlikely, but there it was and here they were, the descendants of that first experiment. They were trapped, not by obsolete technology or cataclysms untold, but by the flesh and what it brought with it: sentiment, caring. The flesh could be cold and not only when it was dead. Humans unconnected to the experiment could be cold and dangerous, but on a different order of magnitude. Maybe that was why they were compatible after all. Still, on so many days, Sherlock thought it should never have been tried. Yet here he was, edging towards repeating the experiment himself.

Sherlock reined it in, brushed a bit of plaster off his shoulder, grabbed his coat and scarf. He went to Bart’s, checked his latest experiments, commented that he’d be a difficult man to find a flatmate for to Mike Stamford, went down to the mortuary to flog a fresh corpse and tried not to bind Molly any more closely to himself. He didn’t want her, but her adoration sweetened the air about her, made it hard to reject her unequivocally. No, he didn’t want Molly, but sometimes he did want.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A continuation, Index of Coincidence, may be read here.

Comments

[svetlanacat4.livejournal.com]

This is a fascinating study... I love those lines "But they fell in love with what he let them feel. Fell in love and then he had to take care of them."...

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Very, very happy you like it. This leapt into my mind yesterday morning and it doesn't have any spoilers in it. :)

I love your new icon.

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

I love it, really love it... it's a gorgeous notion, and you've written it beautifully (you always write things beautifully *g*).

whereas Sherlock was alive, vibrantly, electrically alive and vibrantly, wildly brilliant.

What a perfect description - he is wildly brilliant, and you can almost see him holding it all inside... oops, I've gone all rambly again! I'll just say thank you and be quiet!

[saki101.livejournal.com]

At the beginning of Hounds when Sherlock is bored at home, he describes to John how his brain is like an engine revving, a rocket on a lauchpad needing to take off and tearing itself apart. This restless boredom seems strange for an intellectual who can lose himself in his mind for hours, even days, on end. One explanation I came up with is that he is not only an intellectual, although he does go on about his brain, but a man of action and it is that part of him that becomes restless and needs not just a puzzle, but a puzzle that requires action to solve. He likes the legwork, but he needs the intellectual excuse to engage in it.

The other explanation is this idea above which is influenced by Sapphire and Steel notions, I believe. Maybe he and Mycroft are their offspring?!

See how much I like to ramble, too?

I love that you love it!!! That is rather like Christmas :D Thank you!!

[aurora-bee.livejournal.com]

It's sad yet sweet. And then he meets John :)

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I can't help but think that the flatshare idea was a ruse to have company because between Sherlock's clothes, his incessant use of taxis and his disinterest in collecting any money for the work he does, I'm not convinced it was an economy measure. I think he was lonely and needed to find John!

Thank you for reading more of my fic.

PS Have you been posting your vids on http://sherlockbbc.livejournal.com? I was trying to remember where I had come across "It's a Sin" the other day. It was somewhere were commenting was a problem which was why I'd sent a PM.

[chapbook.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to let you know how much I am intrigued by both of your series. You certainly know how to maintain tension and mystery in your writing. I like how you make Sherlock uncanny here; not just his thoughts about an experiment and fusion, but also the way he demonstrates incredible power, so tightly held in, so close to exploding. The lengthening crack and the rattling windows might not grab the attention of anyone outside the flat, but boy howdy do they imply the energy of this dark star.

"...were fragrant with their intuitions." This set of thoughts Sherlock has are vividly written and sensual.

Also liking how you build on s1, providing an explanation for the sometimes puzzling behaviour of people towards Sherlock.

I look forward to learning more about the AU 'verse.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I am so pleased that you are enjoying this! (And that you quoted parts. I am shamelessly thrilled by that!!)

There were various references in the episodes that set me on this track of thinking, one of them being the conversation Mycroft and Sherlock have in the morgue, "Look at them. They care so much." There was that sense of otherness and of isolation.

...providing an explanation for the sometimes puzzling behaviour of people towards Sherlock.

It's intriguing how people have such strong reactions to Sherlock. Almost no one is indifferent and so many are so loyal and protective. Of course, there is Sally. I find it distressing to think about her, but I may have come up with an explanation that fits this universe.

Thank you!

[elmey.livejournal.com]

Ah, this adds a little context to the story you're working on now!

I like this view of Sherlock as something other; how differently he sees the world around him, and yet how tempted he is by what he does see:

fragrant with their intuitions... Electrical bonds arcing, loosening, beckoning… is such a wonderful way of getting across how attraction would feel to him and how precisely he thinks he can dissect it.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Well, you know how I tend towards the sci fi/fantasy side of things, and Sherlock, especially as he has been written and acted in this series seems to have an extra dose of it. Moffat described Sherlock as otherworldly in an interview I watched and that must come through in the writing. Yet, there is the attraction and concern for others, the emotion of his music and the tension between the controlling intellect and the "sentiment" he so derides. In this there is some of the Dr Who mood, I think as well. Whatever it is, it has my muse in a stranglehold!

Thank you so much for embarking on this and quoting bits. It is so very encouraging. (Seems I might carry on even without encouragement at this rate, but with is soooo much better! :-D) It may take a while to get through this long thing though.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

When I watched Episode 1 last year, Sherlock reminded me very much of Eleven. That's partly Moffat of course, and they've become more distinctive over time, but I know exactly what you mean.

With pico this month and work, it will take me some time to read through everything, but I'm very interested and you always hold my attention, so I'll get there :)

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Definitely no rush. I really, really appreciate that you are undertaking it!